Whoa! Who knew tuba players could be so angry? I'll tell you who knew...this guy right here. In life to date, I've come to believe 2 populations exist which demand precaution. These are the people you never ever ever want to mess with:
- Food Providers - servers, cooks, hostesses
- Band Members (geeks) - more specifically, the tuba player.
Why? Because the tuba is the suckiest of all band instruments. These poor people have nothing to look forward in regard to mastering their instruments. Perfecting the art of tuba yields the player little profit. Tubas are not used in rock bands, country, rap. It cannot be used to woo a lady of choice in a sweet song of love.
Usually reserved for the overweight and unattractive. To make thier wieght issues even the more trying for the player, the sound produced by the tuba provides a sort of soundtrack to their movements. It's as if the sounds mock the player. To top this off tuba players are almost always sent to the back of marching line. No credit. You will never hear someone in the crowd say "Damn that bands tuba really made the music amazing!".
Of all the instruments, the tuba's carry case is the most big and awkward. There have been days during this semester where I would have paid $1000 for a locker just so I wouldn't be forced to carrying around a backpack full of textbooks. It's heavy and awkwardly big, forcing interesting maneuvers to be made in reaching a seat in row of 18 and 19 year old females. This can only be amplified exponentially for the tuba player who is forced to transport his instrument in a case which resembles a mix between a portable camping toilet and a container for small skud-missiles.
You will never see a tuba player be the popular kid. Often they go through high school unnoticed and in the shadows. These guys have no tolerance for nonsense. Especially when it threatens to bring attention to their already lower band class existence.
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